The Run

The humid, hazy morning air was heavy in my lungs. It pumped in and out as my legs started moving almost mechanically. "Little Secrets" by Passion Pit blasted through my headphones, my feet gliding in rhythm to the music. The sidewalk curved. Cars zoomed by stressfully rushing to work. My legs kept moving, determined to discover another great route. A route that would become my own, just as route in Arlington had.

Running is my release. It's the first thing I think to do as stress or change hits and upsets the certain schedule of my life. My run in Arlington has seen me through a lot. Breakups. Uncertainty about my future. Fights with those I love. Running clears my head. It's all I know to do when dealing with doubt.

I turned to avoid crossing a busy street, nervous that the frazzled drivers would not take pity on the runner. I saw businesses opening for the first time. I sprinted through the Plano West school zone to "Here it Goes Again" by OK Go. I came to a crossing of a street, and had a hunch that it would take me back to where I started. I checked my stopwatch. 14:53, a perfect halfway point. Although risky, I turned the corner and continued to jog.

I looked in awe of the mansions that surrounded me. Each house seemed to have it's own personality, all centrally plotted on a large, green plot of land. My legs continued their rhythmic movement, beginning to fatigue as "I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones blarred on. This was my pace song. Perfect timing.

Afraid to look back at my stop watch, exhaustion crept up my body, starting in my toes and creeping up through my thighs and into my back. The intersecting street that would take me to my car was no where in sight. The road curved. Deep down, I had a feeling I wasn't sprinting astray, but I just wasn't sure. "Keep running, 2 more songs" I told myself.

I was out of breath. My lungs started to ache as they gasped for air. I was ready to give up. The synthesizer of "Sweet Disposition" by The Temper Trap started. And then I saw it. The intersection. The stoplight. Park. A smile started to form on my face. I doubted, but I knew it would be ok.

My life feels like this run. A lot. I'm running on the trail of life, praying that I'm following Him. In His will. That His will rule my life, not my own. I turn, feeling that He wants me to. And then I doubt. I wonder if this is really it. I get tired. But just as I think I'm wrong, I'm ready to turn back, and I wonder why I turned in the first place, I see that intersection. I get to the street I know I'm going to. And I realize that if I focused just a little more on my faith and a little less on my doubt, life would be ok. Life would be more enjoyable. He will lead me where He needs me to go.